Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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