$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy