How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
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Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.