i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
