He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
