Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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