Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
