If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
