help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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