i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
