k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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