So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
