I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i dont even know how to be here
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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