Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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