Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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