Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
