Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
