ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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