Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize