I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
