Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
