Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
