i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
