And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
