How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
