I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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