Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
