Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
