i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
my god I love twenty year old dicks
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
