yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
