girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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