Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
