Duck Duck Cougar?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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