Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
