You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
