Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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