Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
