....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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