she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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