So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
