it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
