If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
