evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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