My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
