so explain again why im purple
no
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
