The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
