i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
