I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
