I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
