i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
