"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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