just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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