Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
