I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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