i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
