Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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