Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
