It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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