No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
