dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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