I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
