Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
