What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
