just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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