Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
